Lost.

I'm lost in this sea that human beings call love. I'm a simple castaway in this island of desperation. It's 1.26 AM and I can't get sleep. My brain is being attacked with thousands of thoughts about you. Those thoughts are confusing, although, I have some ideas that are impossible to move. Mountain truths, river truths... remember? I just can't avoid smiling every time I remember that conversation. The "truth-mountain" is that I love you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. This love is beyond comprehension, that's why I refuse to accept it's over. I need you, darling. More than ever. A song is coming to me, it's "More than words". Maybe that's why I want you here so badly. I need more than words to believe everything you say or do. The "truth-river" it's that I don't want you to leave, baby (God... I always wanted to call you baby). I want to have you always there, I don't want to argue anymore, I need that the fight would only be on our bed. But sweetheart, I have some doubts. That's the reason I want you to tell me anything you have left to say me. I mean you no harm. But understand that sometimes, I'm jealous of other men. You're rapturelessly beautiful. You're smart, funny, strong-believed... Any man would do anything to be with you. And I'm afraid of that. There are 700 kilometres between us and you may decide that you need someone that lives next to you. You may find a better-looking man, smarter, funnier... and the most important, a man that isn't silly, that isn't an idiot like me. Because let's admit this: I'm not the best man you can get. I have more defects than anyone I've ever met. Still, you chose me. And that made me the luckiest man alive. And again, I'm afraid to lose you. So I need to know if you have met a guy that's better for you, and I need to be safe. Why am I writing this? Because I needed to say all this stuff. Because when I was dialing your number in order to call you and say all of those things, I broke down. I couldn't stand it anymore, I spent an hour crying. Yes, like a little baby. I'm not proud of that. I shouldn't be writing it. Whatever. I needed all of this out to calm down, so I wrote it for you. I need you to know all this. Why did I write this in english? I don't know, the words flowed like this in my head. But, Google translator is pretty good. Otherwise, I would be happier to tell you all of this using my voice, than the written word, but I don't want to disturb you... I love you.

Sabina, esta vez es personal...

Eh, Sabina... Por una de tus canciones empieza todo: 19 días y 500 noches. Y esta vez no son mías esas noches... ¿Raro eh? Tú que sabes que el ruido del juego siempre me lo llevo yo. Sí, "Amor" se llama el juego. Es complicado vivir con dos camas vacías. El tiempo y el espacio hace que se vaya con la frente marchita, pero nos metimos de lleno en el rock & roll de los idiotas, y lo aceptamos. Y yo te pregunto, maestro... A tí que tambien te dieron las diez, que has vivido el caso de la rubia platino y que me has visto ser un conductor suicida. En definitiva, que sabes de la incertidumbre más que nadie. Y no, no nos sobran los motivos. Y tampoco quiero vivir en más de cien mentiras. Sabes que lo que tengo son ganas de... de ser feliz coño. De no vivir donde habita el olvido. De que no haya ni peros, ni dudas, ni "y sin embargo". De no cantar la canción de las noches perdidas. Porque... ya sabes que quiero cantar la canción más hermosa del mundo a su oído, y que sea todo lo feliz que pueda llegar a ser. En fin, viejo, dame un par de tus pastillas para no soñar, que de momento, lo mejor es que hasta que llegue la parte III, este espacio quede cerrado por derribo.